Food and sex are both things to have an appetite for, to crave, to savor. We blur the lines between the two, evoking the edible when we want to attract the sexual. We eat oysters and chocolate to court arousal. And we use the aromas of foods — vanilla, citrus, spices — to make ourselves smell as irresistible as what’s on our plate, waiting for someone to take a bite.
This is part of why food-inspired fragrances have been so popular. We want to smell like what we hunger for. But two new stunty options from Domino’s and Papa John’s (exactly who you want to be buying your toiletries from) are maybe not quite it.
For Valentine’s Day, Domino’s is launching Eau de Passion, though it’s only available in the UK and Ireland. According to a press release, the perfume is “inspired by the alluring aroma and irresistible scent of a Domino’s Pepperoni Passion, with notes of spice, pepper and a woody, warm, comforting base,” and comes in a pyramid-shaped bottle decorated to look like pizza slices. Anyone who wants to try it (and lives in those regions) can fill out a form on their website from February 10-17 for a chance to win a bottle.
Stateside, Papa John’s is offering something even worse. Taking tweets about fans wanting to “bathe” in its signature sauce too literally), the chain “has created a limited-edition bath bomb inspired by its Garlic Dipping Sauce.” Papa John’s also tapped parody account @hannasaurr to do her best Nara Smith impression for the announcement. Though the bomb is inspired by the sauce, the company provides no scent notes as to whether it’s more garlic- or butter-forward, or whether it’ll turn your bath water the consistency of dip. The bomb will apparently be sent to random fans who post about how much they love Papa John’s on social media.
As Rachel Syme wrote in the New Yorker, “smells are subject not just to major cultural changes but also to minor shifts in context: the same smell that greets you at the door of a cheesemonger has a very different effect when confronted at the door of a porta-potty.” Similarly, garlic bread at the dinner table of a dear friend is love and warmth, whereas garlic bread in the bathtub makes it seem like you didn’t clean. Pepperoni on the neck of a lover just smells like your man rolled around in the dog chew section of the pet store.
Pizza-esque scents like tomato and basil can be chic in perfumes, but you only want to smell an actual pizza when there’s pizza to be had. Anyway, good luck to the lucky Papa John’s fans on cleaning artificial garlic smell out of their tubs.
