Mississippi Lawmaker Proposes Bill Outlawing Male Masturbation newsthirst.

Being an outlaw in Mississippi could be as simple as busting a nut, or at least that’s what a state senator is proposing with a new law that effectively bans masturbation … for men, anyway!

MS Sen. Bradford Blackmon even slapped a catchy name on his legislation — the “Contraception Begins at Erection Act” — which aims to block men from spreading (or wasting) their seed unless they intend to make a baby. So, no playing five-on-one with yourself or any other forms of pleasure that end with you wasting those precious sailors.

The bill does have some exceptions, however … especially in regard to activities related to baby-making endeavors, including sperm donation.

The proposed law, which was introduced Monday and is currently “in committee,” would see men hit with some pretty stiff fines for solo ejaculation — first-time violators would be hit with a $1K citation, and second-timers fork out $5K.

The third strike would really cost transgressors … a whopping $10K!!! That’s one expensive shake with the milkman, if ya know what we mean.

It’s rather unlikely the bill will get any traction in Mississippi’s legislature, which coincidentally, gathers in Jackson, MS and is GOP-controlled … Blackmon is a Democrat. Still, it’s a pretty groundbreaking suggestion, given most reproductive laws focus on the woman’s role in contraception.

Blackmon indicated that is the very point of his bill. He told WLBT, “This bill highlights that fact and brings the man’s role into the conversation. People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.”

Mississippi currently prohibits abortions for most cases — outside preserving the life of the mother or rape or incest — which went into effect after the U.S. Supreme Court reversed Roe v. Wade in 2022.

Attention, Mississippi dudes — ya might wanna have your fun while ya still can, legally.